And the Storm Rages On...

Greetings all, I have to be honest I write this blog with tearfilled eyes. First I want to say that our faith is unshaken and our Hope is strong! Disappointed, Yes, but not Afraid! The operation this morning did not go as we had hoped. Cate's heart is not ready. Neither one of the ventricals are pumping like they should. The right ventricle is not pumping correctly due to the large amount of muscle that was removed, but the left vetricle could have been one of two things: 1) its just simply exhausted from the surgery or 2) that there might be some coranary artery issues. He ordered a Heart Catheterization which is where they inject dye into her blood and take pictures of her heart. He said Coronary Artery is fine, which is really good news, we don't need another surgery right now, but at the sametime its frustrating cause it means that we have to wait longer and we are still not completely certain what is going on. Yes, Cate is still on the Ecmo machine and a ventilator and will be for the next couple of days for sure. The surgeon wants her heart to rest for a couple of days before they try anything again. The words its a marathon are ringing very true right now. We have only been in this for 3 days now and it feels like a month. We are tired, dehydrated (by our own doing, DANG YOU STARBUCKS) and hungry, something that I don't frequently experience, and this is only day 3. This afternoon Ali and I's emotions have been running wild, I sat on the bed at the hotel and cried, LOUDLY, for fifteen minutes, I just want to see her smile, I want to hear her laugh, I want to feel her little hand on my face, but I can't and that is just hard right now. I know that we are in the best place we could be, so I have to take some comfort in that. I know that all of you are praying deligently, and I am grateful for that. Our friend who is a fellow here at TCH came by on his day off when he heard about how the morning went, He has been calling getting updates on her. He took one look at me and said, no more coffee, 2 large bottles of water, 2 larger bottles of gatorade, and you need to go to bed right now. He asked me how much sleep i have gotten since friday, I thought about it, 6 to 8 hours, he said GO TO BED. He said, your little girl is on the "circuit" that is shoptalk for the Echmo machine, he said she is on cruise control right now, does it suck, yes, is there anything you can do, no. He reminded us again that this is a marathon and we must pace ourselves. I think we are going to take the evening to rest, thank you all for your comments, you really don't know how much they mean to Ali and I, they truly give us encouragement right now. I have to be ask a huge favor, Please do not forget about Cate or Us, we need you, in a day, a two, or three, we will still be here and we will still need you praying for Baby Cate and Us. Ali and I have said on many different occassions that we have truly felt your spiritual support and we will continue to need it in the days and weeks to come, so that is my request, please be deligent with us, because we NEED you! Our faith is not Shaken by todays events, Our hope is not weakend in the least bit! Today as we got the news that Cate was going to have to stay on the machine and tears filled my eyes I looked through the glass doors of the waiting room and there stoody Deacon Ed Gosline, a dear friend of mine's dad, and he had in his hand a pyx with the Holy Eucharist in it, it was like in the midst of the the waves crashing in, there was Jesus, my calmer. I walked over and just cried on Deacon Ed's should as he held the Eucharist close to my heart. So we will remain faithful to our faithful God. I got to see Cate a few minutes ago and she looks beautiful. They cleaned her up and put a little blanket under her, so you know what, the world is good. My girl is resting, her heart is resting, and before long her mommy and daddy will be resting. We love you guys, please stay with us during this time!