Friday, April 3, 2009

Back in the Saddle

Greetings to all!! Well, we are back in the saddle guys and gals and you all may be thinking I am talking about the blog, well that too, but one week ago today I found out that little Cantrell number four has made its entrance into the world, that’s right, Ali is PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!! Ok, I will give you a minute to go get some tissue if you need to gather yourself. You read it right the first time, the Cantrell’s are having another baby!!!!!! Wow, is right, as the words “there is something I need to tell you” came out of Ali’s mouth last Friday night as we sat waiting on friends to meet us, the absolute last ones that I thought would follow would be, “I’m pregnant.” I was expecting, our electric bill was real high, the cats pooped on your favorite shirt, dude ate your favorite shirt. As the words I’m pregnant rolled off of her tongue, I felt all the blood leave my face, I took a long sip of the cold beer that sat in front of me, still not sure if it was mine, and said, Wow, I am so excited, not really meaning that at all, I just didn’t know what else to say at that very moment. And then she followed it by and you can’t say anything to our friends yet, WHAT!!!! Ok, now I have to act like everything is normal when my head is spinning around on my shoulders. Women, that is so typical of you all to do something like that in public that way we can’t freak out and then say, and oh yeah, we can’t talk about it. You are such interesting creatures.

We went to the doctor on Monday for an ultrasound. I saw the little blob on the screen and immediately saw the little beating heart, WOW, what a miracle uh, 8 weeks old and I am watching its little heart beat on a black and white screen. I told Ali that it couldn’t be mine, it looks nothing like me. I asked the nurse if she could print me out a picture to carry around in my truck to remind me that my wife is PREGNANT, and yes we know how it happens, apparently we just like how it happens, especially in February, now that three of our four children will have November birthdays. New rule in the Cantrell house, in February mom or dad moves out, for the MONTH. We met with Dr. Rose and she said that everything looks good right now and that the chances of us having another heart baby are low, but around twenty weeks she wants us to go see a Cardiologist for her to look at Baby Cantrell’s heart, so we need you guys again to be praying for a healthy heart please!

We told Ella and Dude last night, they screamed and hollered at the dinner table. Ella laughed hysterically but you could tell it was with a twinge of nervousness. She quickly proclaimed that it was a boy, we reminded her that we did not know yet what God had given us, but daddy was really hoping it was a PUPPY. This morning Ella wanted to bring the ultrasounds picture with her to school to show everyone her new sibling. Can you picture that a bunch of pre-k’ers huddled around an ultrasound picture of a Uterus trying to figure out what it is! We had not even gotten off our street before she had told someone that, “Mommy has a baby in her tummy!” and when the lady who was opening the doors in the carpool line opened the door, there was Ella standing up tall, holding the picture declaring loudly that, her mommy was pregnant. I am sure by this afternoon our small town will be buzzing with, “Did you hear, the Cantrell’s are pregnant!”

Is there fear? YES, there is fear, but I cannot and do not want to let that fear run my life. I write this blog almost two years to the day that we found out when Ali was pregnant for Cate that we might lose her in Utero and that there was something developmentally not right. The past two years have been a long road for this little family. Is this a little sooner than I would have liked to welcome another child into our family, maybe, but, maybe it is the perfect time. Maybe as we begin to close the chapter of mind numbing pain from the loss of Cate, God can open the next chapter of fruitful love in the life of the Cantrell’s. I am ready to get back in the saddle of love and new life, I am ready to welcome this baby knowing that its big sister Cate has her hand on its every move. As I sat on the back step the other night crying to Cate, telling her that I didn’t know if I was ready to move on and that I was scared of the possibilities of this baby have heart problems to and asking her, “Cate, please pray for me, but pray and watch over your new little brother or sister.” I kid you not, in my heart of hearts I heard her snicker at me and say “Dad, I am so sure! I am not going anywhere, your not “moving on” and stop worrying I am already on it” and I had a vision of her rolling her eyes! It was AWESOME, I love that little girl.

Well, here we go again, back in the saddle of welcoming children into the world of the Cantrell’s. We need you guys, I know you all have been praying even though we have not been writing and you will never know how encouraging it is to get comments on the blogs just saying that you are still here and still praying even though we haven’t written in months. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Please add this new Baby Cantrell to your list and we will keep you up to date as we journey through this pregnancy and as we prepare our hearts to meet this new son or daughter and welcome them joyfully into our little family. God bless you all and thank you for the prayers.

Much Love,

The Cantrells