Well, the kids are in bed with thoughts of sugar plumbs dancing in their heads...uh sure, daddy and mommy feel like dreaming of good bottles of wine, hehe. We went to see Baby Cate this morning, she was WIDE awake and attentive, I talked and talked to her and she just looked at me and moved her arms and legs excitedly and then quickly suck down the bottle i gave her in less than five minutes. Daddy then had to go to bring home the bacon, what a silly cliche, bacon is bad for you anyway. I, as a dad, would rather bring home rice and gravy or jambalaya, cause that makes me happy. Ali stayed with Baby Cate till about 12 when my stepmom and my dad showed up to snuggle with our precious little one, and then we got taken out to a free lunch, THANK YOU...BABY CATE! I will take a free lunch any day of the week, hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge, to all you blog readers. Ali then came home to put her ankles, I mean her feet up, because they have now reached her knees, can yall please pray for those things, I mean really, I thank GOD EVERYDAY that I am man. Kudos to all you women out there who have bore children, you have my utmost respect. The things that yall go through in order to bring life into this world is absolutly stunning.
On a more serious note Ali and I sat at out table this evening and cried and shared tonight and talked about this journal and what we felt was most important for our friends and family to know. Now, this will be a little raw, but its real and its what we are going through and we want you to know, not for the sake of knowing, but for the sake of praying. The honeymoon is over, is the best way to put it. Yeah, Ali and I are some real marathoners uh, a whole two days home and our hearts are sagging deep inside of our chests. We have not tried to make it look easy, we have tried to make it look real, and this is where we are tonight and this is why we share this with you, because we need you.
Tonight, I called a dear friend of mine Aaron in California, I sat on the back step of my house and cried like a little boy who had just lost his puppy. I cried because i was tired of thinking about Ali's pain, tired of trying to create a "stable home" for our other two kids, tired of thinking about health insurance and are we covered or will be be dead broke in a year, tired of thinking about what Cate's life would be like over the next few months and years to come, and the fact the Got dogit, I want her home! I miss her, I want to hold her when I want to hold her, not when I can make it to the ICU. I want to give her all her food, not just the one feeding i can make a day. The only thing I can relate it to is the first time I had to travel for work, for the first week it wasn't that bad. Yes, I missed my family, but I could do it! Come week two and three, I was like this STINKS. Aaron and I prayed, well he prayed, I mostly cried and nodded on the phone and a little peace settled in my heart. The image that has been in my heart for the past few days is of Moses with his arms held up but he needed help to keep them up and it was his brother in the Lord who held his arms up for him when he just could not do it anymore.
This is what Ali and I felt most needed to be said tonight, we need you, our friends and family, to continue, as we know you have and we have felt those prayers, but to pray for us, especially as a husband and wife and a mother and father. We want to face this challenge that this world is bringing to us with peace, patience, selflessness, and fortitude, but we are really leaning into you our beloved friends and family to hold our arms up.
I know that this might sound heavy or kind of depressing, but that is not how Ali and I are looking at it. It's real, many of you have asked what can you do. More than dinners, flowers, stuffed animals, rake my yard, well if you want to rake my yard, just call me and we could work something out, ok just kidding, Ali and I are truly relying and leaning into the spiritual support of our family and friends, yes for Baby Cate, but for her mom and dad too. Maybe that seems silly to ask for, but it is what we truly need. We love you, we thank you in advance for the prayers that will go up to throne room of God on our behalf, for it is that simple act that what will truly hold our arms up during these difficult times! With love and appreciate...Good Night.